GO VOTE! GO VOTE! GO VOTE! IF YOU ARE BLACK IN AMERICA YOU HAVE NO EXCUSE! I'm an anarchist damn it and I still vote! GO VOTE! GO VOTE! GO VOTE!

March 7, 2000

"I have faith in my destiny." I heard those words last night and they brought back my hope. The speaker wasn't put off by the high odds against him finding his soul mate - because he KNEW it was to come. Do I have faith in my destiny? Do I even believe in destiny? Not really. It's unsettling to think that every move I make has been pre-ordained and that I don't have any input in my life. However, I do believe that God has a plan for us - and our life choices determine how long it takes us to walk the path He has prepared. It will come eventually, but we are responsible for how soon and how much at a time. So I will try to have more faith in my destiny - which is, Trust in the path the Creator has prepared and try my best not to let my fear cause me to stray.

March 4, 2000

I know this might sound crazy, but there are many times when I wish that our culture sanctioned arranged marriages. We put so much time and energy into finding a mate, because we have these unattainable requirements for the person we want to spend the rest of our lives with. We create lists of requirements that we want in a potential mate, and somehow, out of all 6 billion people in the world, okay maybe only the 250 million in the U.S., or possibly the several million people who live in whatever city you do, we are supposed to find the love of our lives. The person who completes us. The one who makes your knees weak, head spin, looks amazing and will be the perfect parent of your future children. Are they serious? No wonder everyone in this country is on Prozac, it's a damned depressing situation! Now look at dating, I don't even think I want to go there. I'm too depressed.

So is the solution marrying someone that you've never met who has been chosen for you by someone else? Well, maybe not, I know it wouldn't work here due to our conditioning, but imagine if we didn't expect our spouses to hold the keys to our eternal happiness. Imagine if we looked at love as an end instead of a means. Imagine if Hollywood showed the first kiss as the beginning instead of 'the end' of the movie. I wish that I didn't want what I've come to want. I wish that I didn't feel dissatisfied when a guy doesn't live up to my airborne expectations of him. I wish I had a different concept of love, one that could actually exist.

March 2, 2000

Riding the Train

Three navy blue suits stood in a triangle, their arms extended to grasp the pole like spokes in an uneven wheel. Apparently, their stocks had risen or fallen or something but their foreign words escaped my financially ignorant mind. Their portfolios were so fat they couldn't stand up straight but had to lean over under the pressure of their wealth. I bet no portion of their six figure incomes go to charity.

The smiles on their grim little faces betrayed their unknown guilt. Is it possible to be rich and happy? All the rich people I ever hear about are abjectly emotionally impoverished. Monetary poverty doesn't necesitate happiness either, but my current theory is that wealth is adverse to joy. Not pleasure mind you, but true joy.

My reflections were interrupted by a couple of very loud chickenheads who entered the train making any further pondering impossible.

February 29, 2000 (Leap Day)

Make the leap.

The itinerant shadow boxer who resides on the corner was shouting obscenities at me today. He's punching at the air and practicing his left hook against an imaginary enemy that somehow turned into me! I merely passed by on my way underground when he noticed me and mistook me for fuel for the fire.

Other than that I had a grand day.

February 26, 2000

You know all those commercials featuring cool, hip looking young people having lots and lots of fun? It doesn't matter what the product being sold is, there's always some funky music, and kids with cool hair/clothes/makeup/jewelry dancing and swimming and sticking pictures onto foosball tables. The funny thing is, no matter how much Dr. Pepper I drink, me and my friends never quite seem to look as cool or have as much fun! When I use my MasterCard, I don't feel any more comfortable being me and my self-esteem doesn't rise. The thing is, these commercials are so insidious because they seep into your consciousness and implant themselves, taking root in your self image and your core idea of recreation. I think that I should be having the kind of fun that precedes jumping off of bridges with stretchy cords attached to my ankles. So when I dye my hair orange and green, pierce my eyebrows, and get a large tattoo covering half my ass (while ingesting Coke, Pepsi, Pizz Hut byproducts and wearing cotton) then my life will be one endless 30 seconds of fun followed by another. I can't wait.

February 24, 2000

Why do we still care about "Who Wants to Marry a Millionaire?" Do we still care? I don't know, there's something intriguing about the whole thing; I guess we're all enraptured by the depths to which our capitalistic society has fallen. But should we all be so shocked? Was the sanctity of marriage really comprosmised by the sweeps-month ratings grabbing, exploitative, 2-hour condensation of the courtship & engagement process? Is marriage sacred? How can something that fails 50% of the time be sacred? What's wrong with having a television special that pimps the institution that is so thoroughly un-sacred? This is the 21st century after all, look what we have to look forward to! Goldiggers competing to meet superficial, shallow men. The more things change the more they stay the same.

February 23, 2000

MUCH PROPS TO THE ROOTS FOR WINNING A GRAMMY!!

Damn! The Backstreet Boys can actually sing a little bit a capella! I had no idea! The Grammies are on and I'm doing a running commentary, just in case you missed them. The Boys are doing a medley (an homage if you will) of various old songs originally sung by black people.

Speaking of which, did you hear about Michael Bolton? It's so ludicrously horrible that he's trying to buy the rights to all of the Isley Brothers songs, so he won't have to pay them back for stealing their song! A man makes his living off of pimping old R&B; classics - but that's not enough! He's got to get his revenge on Ronald Isley even when Bolton was wrong in the first place!!! Talk about ridiculous. I'm absolutely irate about the whole thing. If Bolton's plan goes through, The Isley's who are responsible for a great deal of the recognizable hits of the past few decades (not to mention being heavily sampled by various hip hop artists) won't be able to collect royalties on their songs!